One of the ways we cripple our children is to assume that there's nothing going on inside their heads …
Attention is where the rubber of your self-on-its-journey meets the road of community, culture, and environment.
One of the most debilitating things we do to young people is to assume that there’s nothing going on inside their heads until we liberate them from their boredom by creating magical experiences, demonstrating indispensable skills, and sharing profound insights.
Totally aware of myself as experiencing a second adolescence of sorts, trying on new, out-loud, post mastectomy identities, I soon began to develop a very adult recognition that (unlike the interpersonal learning my adolescent self had to do) it wasn't my work to fine tune my messaging to the feedback I was getting. In our culture, confidence and … Continue reading After the Amputations, IV: Women without nipples
Before the amputations, I was as conciliatory as they come, evincing the classic middle child's need to bring all diverse viewpoints into happy togetherness. It's true that I have always colored outside the lines, some. (Acknowledging that I'm a pushover doesn't mean that I don't think outside the box until the hammer comes down.) But if anyone looked at me earnestly and asked … Continue reading After the Amputations, III: Well-behaved woman acquires super powers
the only path toward a just society is for the "woke" souls – even the ones who have grave injuries to nurse – to actualize the vision of our society as being one diverse, equal, and interdependent people
About 9 months after my surgery, in my new job as Program Director for a public school with 130+ middle school students, I stumbled across a young student couple, crossing the lines of propriety in an alcove that had been prepared to accommodate quiet, independent work. It was early in the first year of my new position, I had replaced … Continue reading After the Amputations, II: Who or what are you?
“I’ll bet anything the surgical resident did this side … didn't he?” At my first post-surgical exam, I couldn’t resist expressing disgruntlement about the god-awful asymmetry of my scar sites. The surgeon refused to verify my theory. He shrugged it off by describing again the scene of 6 hands working simultaneously through a steady bloodgush … to remove … Continue reading After the Amputations, Part I: My breasts weren’t the only thing that went out with the trash.
I have a lot of concern (bordering on obsession) for the people in this country whose equal status is theoretically guaranteed by the law, but who continue to experience discrimination and rejection, to which persons of more privileged status often stand in silent witness. As the blind and the ignorant among us slowly awaken to the widespread injustice … Continue reading i’m brown, too, dammit!
In the end, I opted to forego the implants.